caged free

i own my own life and no one else is in control of if aside from me. I choose to do everything I want to do and I choose to do it cause I want to do it.

the contradiction

I went from 160 to 119. And funny thing, I thought I would have the life I wanted the feeling I wanted basically everything I wanted, but no. At this moment I am still lonely. I am the skinniest that i've ever been and yet i am still unhappy. I bought all these clothes, and it only lasts 5 seconds to make me happy. Maybe I should start going out and doing the meeting people thing again. Ya, probally that would make me happy. I dont really keep contact with people, so maybe If I start calling people and doing the social thing, instead to shopping and playing games all day I would be happier. I think I care too much of what people think of me, but you know what today is always a new day and a new day means new anything and new change. I fixed my body, when I should have fixed my innerself first. Today is about the inside of me. About loving being around me when its just me and me. I want to fall in love with my self again. I will let go of all these people and fall in love with myself again. I am going to let go living up to peoples expectations, im going to let go of living up to all the worlds standards, I am going to look at things diffrently and not like how everyone else would see it, I am going to live how a person should live: free.